Teaching Children Kindness and Gratitude

We arrive in this world focused mostly on me, myself and mine. It is intuitive and part of our nature. Our culture reinforces it. 

But as parents and caregivers, we can choose a different way. We can teach our children kindness and gratitude. 

It does not happen overnight. But through intentional, daily practice, we can help our children reflect the heart of Jesus to the world. 

Here are five simple ways to help your children cultivate kindness and gratitude.

1. Train them to notice others in need

You cannot care about what you do not see. Kindness starts by noticing those in need. 

Many children are naturally focused on their own ideas and plans. They may not notice a friend sitting alone. They may overlook a classmate who is sad or not feeling well. 

As you go throughout your day together, encourage your children to notice those around them and show kindness in simple ways. 

Gently point out a friend playing alone — challenge your child to include them. Include your child when helping out a neighbor. Encourage them to hold the door for someone at the store whose hands are full. Help them cultivate awareness and learn age-appropriate ways to help.

If you have school-age children, listen to the issues they share about their classroom. Talk about ways to navigate conflict respectfully. Ask what they could do differently next time. Challenge them to listen to others instead of only promoting their own ideas. 

Model what it looks like to be kind to those most people overlook. Serve when no one else is looking. Speak to your children the way you want them to talk with others. Demonstrate kindness in life’s daily details and be honest when you make a mistake.   

2. Model daily gratitude

Just like we struggle to see others’ needs, we also often overlook our own blessings. 

Gratitude requires us to pay attention. It calls us to look at the good things when life is easy and hard. 

Thankfulness is also contagious. The more we model it, the easier it is for our children to catch on. 

Pay attention and say thank you when your child does something thoughtful. Encourage words of kindness and gratefulness as your children interact with others. 

Point out small things you are thankful for throughout your day — a sunrise, an unexpected gift or a word of encouragement. As you pray together at meals or family devotions, challenge your children to thank the Lord for something He has given them or provided that day. 

Make gratitude a daily habit and not just a yearly celebration. The more you practice it, the easier it becomes to count your blessings.

3. Expand their perspective

It is easy to assume everyone’s life is like yours. So help your children broaden their perspective of the world. 

As they hear about events in the news, talk about them together in age-appropriate ways. Share how a situation affects individuals and families, creating challenges they might not have considered. 

Learn together about the difficulties children around the world face. Not everyone has the opportunity to eat three meals a day. Many do not have a bed or a blanket at night. They cannot always purchase new clothes or shoes when they need them. They struggle to have clean water to drink. 

Talk about practical ways you can help as a family. Consider giving to a cause — allow your children to contribute too. 

Volunteer as a family at a local soup kitchen or shelter. Participate in a toy drive. Help deliver school supplies. Let your children come along so they can experience the needs of others while also seeing how kindness and generosity really make a difference.

4. Teach them why it matters

Children love to ask why. So as you teach them, remind them why kindness and gratitude matter. 

Take them back to the Bible. God provides for all humanity — those who follow Him and those who do not yet know Him (Matthew 5:45). He shows us kindness over and over again to lead us to Himself (Romans 2:4). He is generous — not even sparing His own Son for our salvation (John 3:16). 

Challenge your children to look at Jesus and follow His lead. Because He has been so kind to us, we should seek to reflect His kindness to others. 

Consider what He has done for us. He has saved us and made us part of His family. He protects and provides for us. Everything we have is a gift from Him. His goodness should make us grateful and generous. 

The more we consider who God is and what He has done for us, the more kind, gracious and thankful we become.

5. Practice together

When it comes to kindness and gratitude, we are all a work in progress. So practice together. Even as adults, we still need reminders.

Pick one thing to focus on together: speaking with kindness, serving others, noticing someone’s need or giving thanks. For a week or more, emphasize your theme each day. Look for simple ways to live it out. 

We are all better when we work together in kindness, gratefulness and love.